traumatizing

i dreamed last night that i had a very cute son.  he was about four years old, had blond hair, huge green eyes, and was just all-over adorable.

we belonged to some bizarre religion where we each took a spoonful of sodium bicarbonate (baking soda) every day.  he was allergic to it, though, so he was exempt. also, our religion required us to subdue all emotions (i was not a very good member of this cult-like church...my passionate nature couldn't be bottled).

one day some ignorant member of our sect tried to feed my son his daily dose of sodium bicarbonate. knowing he was allergic, he became very upset and started to run away.  i saw him running by and began to chase him to try and catch up.  he ran up the fire escape of a quite tall building and i had him cornered.

he was really upset, and when i went to try and hug him, he jerked away.  only he moved back too far and fell over the railing. i'm not really sure how it happened, but he went so far during his fall that he ended up across the street, crashing through the glass doors of a kohl's. sometimes i wish i didn't dream in such vivid detail--there were buckets of blood everywhere and his body was broken.

i tried to call 911, but the operator thought i was just playing a prank. i ran down and across the street, but i knew my son was dead.  some other (emotionless) members of my sect closed in around the body and pushed me to the side.  then i woke up.