haunted by samuel clemens

in all my dreams last night, i was doing normal things---cooking dinner, copying things at work, watching tv, etc---when suddenly mark twain would just run past.

dahmer+auschwitz=can you think of anything more horrifying?

after a riveting discussion about serial killers the other night (which i knew undoubtedly would give me nightmares), i had a horrific dream that i was in a concentration camp run by jeffrey dahmer. i was going to put a picture of him with this post, but i couldn't bear the thought of having his image on my blog.

weird

i have not been sleeping very much or well lately. when i have slept, my dreams have been bizarre little snippets that i'm stuck in until i wake up, instead of dynamic stories like usual. here are a few that i remember most vividly:


i suddenly find myself in a vat of shark fetuses. luckily, there is a tree growing out of the middle of the tank, so i manage to climb up out of the muck. the odd thing is that i don't recall ever seeing a shark fetus before, but when i looked up this picture, it was exactly like the ones in my dream.
eight friends and i decide to buy up burial plots arranged in a square. then as each of us die, we see if we can get tic-tac-toe, three in a row.
i'm at a consignment shop and find some things that i desperately love and want to purchase. however, when i go to the register, i am informed that i have to trade them for my eggs, because the shop owner wants to freeze them in case of the 2012 apocalypse.

danny boy and christina's world

i was christina and i was stuck in this painting.

danny boy was playing over and over and over and over and over and over i couldn't go anywhere, because i was crippled. i thought i was going to go mad, but

then i woke up.

i'm a woman in a predicament

lately, i've been having rather feverish (probably swine-flu-induced) dreams in which i am some sort of semi-helpless female.

in one, i was forced to be a mail-order bride. the woman who was collecting girls to ship off was looking only for non-caucasians, but i couldn't seem to convince her that i am not mexican. she'd kidnapped me from disneyland (why all the disneyland dreams lately?) and was holding me hostage at a hotel in anaheim.

in another, i wake up (just in the dream, which is in black-and-white) and find that i can't move, speak, or even open my eyes for more than a few seconds (that part of the dream has actually been recurring since i can remember). meanwhile, everyone is fleeing the country because of some sort of epidemic, and they forget me.


in the most recent, i was hester prynne and dimmesdale was one of my close friends from real life. he was acting quite the villain, and no one would believe that he'd fathered my child.

in each of these, i was just about at my breaking point, but

then i woke up.

i marry a large tongan man and then hide in the basement

i'm not sure why i'd agreed to do this in the first place, but for some reason i thought it'd be awesome to marry this HUGE tongan guy that i'd known for about a week. he was about forty, about 6'4", probably weighed 400 pounds, and was actually quite nice (when he wanted to be).

we got married in my parents' backyard. he wore a blue and gold dress and i wore a navy pants suit. afterwards we had a huge party where he danced the haka. while he was thus occupied, i realized that maybe this wasn't such a good idea. i tried to run away, but he saw me and chased me down and said we needed to consummate our marriage. i punched him the nose and hid in the basement. i called 911 and tried to explain my situation, but the dispatcher told me that i had made a decision and i had to follow through with it, sorry. my husband was coming down the basement stairs to get me, and

then i woke up.

the haunted house at disneyland is really haunted

this dream happened one night after i watched house on haunted hill.

clark and i were at disneyland at halloween time. he wanted to go to the haunted house, because he heard they'd done something extra special with it this year. once we got inside, i knew something was amiss--the usual gimmicks weren't there; instead it was far more creepy and the ghosts walking around looked real.

at some point, we got separated. i got really scared and realized that there was no one else (at least no one alive, that is) anymore in the house with us. a bearded ghost that looked like saddam hussein started chasing me around.

as i was running from saddam hussein, i tripped over something. i realized it was a detached human arm. i got up and kept going. i turned a corner and managed to lose the ghost for a minute, so i ducked into a closet. when i turned on the light, on the shelf right next to my face was clark's severed head.

then i woke up.